My Future

University

This is the most important thing that I want for myself because this will change my life and it’s my only ticket to the life that I want for me and my family. I was supposed to be in uni last September but I didn’t get the grades that I needed and was doing a course that I couldn’t get into dentistry with so this is the year that I get into uni. This is really important for me and I always feel like im not good enough for anyone and I want to prove to myself and everyone what I am capable of. To get into I need to get AAA as well a good UKAT score. I will be applying to uni in a week time and I am extremely nervous about it. The first step is to learn for the UKAT test and get a score that’s more than average points. Then its in terms of going to the interviews as well as having a good luck then ofcourse the biggest thing it depends on is that to get the grades and I need to work every single day for a year and im doing this alone so I am really nervous about it and I really need to achieve this because it has the potential to change my life for better and this is all I ever wanted. I have been dreaming about going to kings college London to do dentistry, and I really want this more than anything so I guess the only way to do this is to just work my ass off.

Weight loss

I have been struggling with my weight for few years now and over the years it has really taken over my life and I hate that it’s always in my mind. Life is so short and I want to live it to the max and be happy and healthy. The good thing is I lose weight easily when I attend gym but the bad thing is Im kind of lazy and never seem to be able to attend continuously. So if you guys read my previous blog you know that im starting a ‘100days of weight loss challenge’. Currently I weigh around 75Kg and I want to lose around 20Kg. In the uk size im 14 and want to get down to a size 8.  As for my eating habit I do eat a quite a balanced diet so I guess I’ll just have to maintain that.

Find myself

Both things that I mentioned before are part of me that haven’t been able to fill out and people always say things like diploma doesn’t define the person that you are or anything but you know what I want it define me; yes I want to be defined by a masters in dentistry, I mean wouldn’t you?. I want to you know find myself and I want to find peace within myself and I have heard that meditation and yoga really help people.

Letting things go

The problem with me is that I find it so hard to let go of things and I hold on to the feelings of being hurt and every time I do that I build a wall against the world and it has never done any good. There are things in the past that has happened that really hurt me and has made me insecure and sometimes when things happen I feel like it’s a repeat of my past and the person is doing something that has been done to me before. I haven’t been able to let go family death and the past and how some things have turned out. I just want to slowly let all these feelings go and finally be free.

Feel content with myself

I really hate going to see any family members or family events because I feel like I’m not good enough and I feel like everyone is judging me and see me as a failure. Because of this I avoid any type of gatherings and it really frustrates me. I hate meeting anyone because I feel like I’m too fat, too ugly, too lazy and just overall not good enough. I’m not someone who used to feel like this and it’s just hard because my life has gone downhill and I want to take control and fix it. I want to be able to walk in anywhere and feel like you know what I am good enough and feel like I have everything. 

Make my mum proud

My mum has done so much for me and things that I could never repay her in anyway. But deep down all she wants is for me to be successful and that’s more than anything I could do for her. I have seen her when I made her proud and I want to see it in her eyes once again and be proud of me.

You guys these are the things that are very close to me and I want to share it with you guys and maybe even inspire to make changes and realize what you need to do but as far as I’m concerned these are the things that I want. I love you all and i wish you luck.

TIME'S UP BOY!

So you guys know from my previous 'countdown' story what's going on. Well clearly the time has past and i haven't heard a word from you for well 10 days. I thought we had something special and i thought if i held on just a little more, just a little stronger you would realize what we could have.

But like an idiot i waited everyday thinking you would call me, text me or at least email me. But it turns out my love has been just one sided. 

Even today i woke up with a dream that you asked me to see me on skype and we were talking but like i said it was just a DREAM. It would be foolish of me to even consider waiting for you or even to waste time thinking of you so i guess it’s time to say goodbye.

I met you, i fell in love with you and now i will try to forget you. Before in my post i have mentioned that he is special to me and even now i do believe he is still special because you made me what i wanted and taught me not to give up and i will never give up on the things i want or deserve. GOODBYE 

MOVIE REVIEW- The wolf wall street

 Leonardo dicaprio could read a grocery list and make it sound like shakespears. In the past i have seen movies just for the pure reason he is in it and im afraid this was the no different. The last movie i had seen was 'The Great Gatsby' and its still one of favourite movies of all time. 

But unforunatley i can't say the same for this, not only was i disappointed the movie but i was disappointed by Leonardo. The movie is just a disaster with over the top acting, men who seem to lost their dignity and behave like monstrous apes, unnecessary sex scenes.Its nothing more than well filmed porn.

Also has anyone noticed the unmissable indistinguishable similarity with the movie 'Great Gatsby'? So much so i felt like i was watching part 2 of The Great Gatsby! 

Even the other supporting characters are not worth mentioning none of them play stronger enough characters, there are just too many characters with no background story. Okay so forget all the bad acting is the story any good? NOT EVEN! The story is not even realistic and none of the sequences has anything to back up its theory. I have a feeling that this movie is going to leave a unrealistic expectation of the job aswell as the outcomes. I don't want to bash up this movie because well my love for Leanadro has changed since this movie and i don't want to make it even worse.

Would i recommend you to watch this movie? well i wouldn't stop you from doing so. But don't go in with too much high expectations or suggest you to waste so much money. 

CAN YOU BE HAPPY FOR 100 DAYS IN A ROW?

So recently i came across this challenge and it really intrigued me. For 100 days all you have to do is to share a picture everyday of something that makes you happy that day. By doing this you learn what actually makes you happy in life as well as you hold on to things that make you happy and be thankful for what you have.

Before you say god that's just not going to happen or think negative about it, remember this is not a task that you have to be happy every single hour every single day for 100 days but you find something everyday to be happy about. Im telling you this will change you in a good way and i really want you guys to stick with this challenge and maybe even do this with your friends like i am. 

I will update you guys every single day and share a photo on instagram everyday so make sure you add me on instagram - justanothersteptohappiness. I will be starting the challenge on Monday 1st of September 2014.

To join with me on the challange go to - http://100happydays.com/

Movie review - Maleficent

Maleficent

The cast-

Ø  Maleficent- Angelina Jolie

Ø Princess Aurora- Elle Fanning

Ø Stefan- Sharlto Copley

Ø Diaval- Sam Riley

Running time – 97 minutes

The movie is supposedly about the untold story of Disney’s iconic villain. I have to say my initial thought was Disney please don’t ruin a character in attempt to make more money. The story line is pretty average with the unexpected ending and that’s what makes this movie different from the typical Disney movie and bought it a success. The movie starts with a young beautiful fairy who falls in love with a human boy and later he betrays her and steals her wings in return to be crowned as the king and this turns her into evil and to seek revenge she puts a curse on the kings daughter that she will prick her finger on the day of her 16^th birthday and fall into coma like sleep and can only be woken by the kiss from true love. That’s when the real movie starts and maleficent heart start to warm when she sees aurora growing up and tries to break the curse but of course it can’t be broken.

In all honestly the script itself isn’t all that great but the casts are the ones who bought the story in to life. Of course the leading lady being Angelina Jolie you can only expect the best. Her acting was exceptional! The way she took to the character is just amazing, I love the way they showed her character I mean she is supposed to be this evil fairy but deep inside she still has parts of what used to be her and the way they portray her you see this outer being as very dark, evil and very cold but you can still see this glimpse of something so beautiful in her eyes; there are no words to explain this and you will only understand this if you see the movie.

Elle fanning plays the young princess and it’s my first time seeing her in any movies and she is great at her role with her being so young and having the almost angel type of look she suited her character really well and she shines in few scenes.

All the other characters play very supporting role and they fit perfectly into the scene, especially the role of diaval , he plays the perfect wing man( literally).

Overall I love the characters as well the unexpected ending which is something unheard of in Disney movies and I would highly recommend everyone to watch this from kids to adults. 

THE BIG COUNTDOWN

Everyone tells me that im a fool for loving you and i am starting to realize that now but me being ever the optimistic in other people i want to give you a chance and i have to be honest this chance is not for you but more for me; for myself to prove that i wasn't a fool in love and that i haven't been so naive to think all those little things were a sign of your affection.Every time i tell them how i feel they all come up with the same response "maybe he's just not that in to you" and i never realized how much those words could hurt!. Im a big girl and i can deal with that but i just want you to prove that im not a desperate crazy girl, so you have till three days and if you don't say something then lets just say things will change.

Why did you do that to me?

I never wanted someone else to be the reason for my happiness but just like everything else it hits you when you don't expect it and you find yourself in a position that you never wanted to be in.. That's exactly what happened to me! Unlike the 100 times before i wasn't looking to fall in love or went into a situation expecting to fall in love but then it happened and you didn't make it hard for me either! In fact its never been that easy.

I want to say i wish i hadn't met you, i wish it was someone else who was at the door or wish for you to be arrogant or a characteristic that i wouldn't have fallen for but deep down i would be in the same situation in a heart beat.   

My love letter to you...

Your love is like wearing a rose tinted glass and looking at the world and seeing all the beauty. I love the way you look straight into my eyes even though its so intense i can't take it for more than few seconds that i have to look away and try not to melt my heart.I feel your hazel eyes can see through my soul and yet you can't seem to notice how i feel about you?! When you lean in so close to me and our hands touches and that moment when you move your leg and it accidentally hits my leg and i try not to react even though i can feel all these electric shocks travelling through my body!

Every time i see you i want to run my fingers through your chestnut brown hair and pull you in close to me and kiss you. Your toned arms makes me dream about the day you'll lift me up so high and slowly bring me down to kiss you gently. I want to explore the world with you and fall in love with each other and the world.  I want to make sweet love to you and give myself to you like i never have before. I love the way you walk me to my bus stop like a gentle men but i hate saying bye to you and i wish you would just hug me and never let me go.One day i want you to explore every inch of my body while every cell of my being yearns for more till i can't take it anymore. Every time you walk into the room and say hi i wish those words were just a shower of kisses. I ask the sun to slow down so i could spend more time with you.

i know the timing isn't perfect but i still want you to want me and i want me to be the person that you miss most. When will you say those three words to me? your eyes tell me things that your mouth won't.

I finally found myself...

For few years now i lost myself and i lost who i was and i didn't know who i was supposed to be or even if id belong in this world but then you came along and gave me something that i can't exactly say but it's like you gave me hope, hope for my future and hope to fall in love and for me that's enough. i don't know how you feel or how i make you feel but thanks for saving me. I always felt like best of my life has passed but it turned out i only had to do one thing to get everything back and that is to find my roots again.

Long term relationships and friendships.

 How will i feel when i no longer see your face or feel your touch against my skin? would i still be in love with you .. seems like you haven't realized how i feel about you but what will the distance between us will do? will you finally see what you havent seen or will i just be someone that you left behind.

what you gave me..

you gave me a different type of love that i never experienced before.. you see i always thought it was over if didn't work out or even start but with you your love gave me hope and made me learn to be be myself and made me realize who i am and for that i will love you..always.