Face the reality..

Its funny when I write things because they are what I want things to be like and what I fantasize about but I'm not a fool and I do know the reality of the situation but I sometimes I choose to ignore it because well life is anything but a fantasy and its rough and if your imagination can bring you happiness then so be it.

I know that the distance isn't what's keeping us apart and I know that you could be living right next to me and we still wouldn't be together. The distance is really nothing especially at this time when we have so much acces to the internet, skype. Email and everything.

I also know that if you said the words I would've willingly waited for you to come back and even given myself to you like I have never before.

I also know that as much of a great guy you are its not 100% you moving that hurt my heart but its more so of the past repeating itself. I try to be all strong on the outside and everything but the reality is I been hurt too many times and have so many issues with myself. I have this fear of being left behind and people not wanting me in their lives because that's what I have experienced in the past and I still haven't gotten over it because it still happens so when you gave me a hint of happiness and then left me I saw it as the past repeating itself.

I know 😞 me and you will never happen and as much as it hurts me on the inside I need to realize I'm not what you're looking for and you're not what I need.