As I sit in the bus I see all these people don’t seem to look happy, I
mean I know it’s a bit of a statement to make. But I feel like most of us just
live just the sake of living. These days I just feel like im drifting along I
mean im not all that happy or all that sad. Being a grown up sucks when
you’re a kid you don’t over think anything and live for the moment. I guess I
haven’t given up hope yet and hopefully I never will because that’s the only
thing that’s keeping me going.
In
all these movies that I watch the girls spend so long with the guy they lose
the sight of who they really are but at the end when they become independent
the guy chases after her. Because what’s more sexy than an independent woman
right? But sometimes it’s just nice to have a guy around because after all we
are all human and what we seek is a bit of affection from the person we love.
It’s
easier not to love since heart breaks hurt so much and you end up destroying
part of yourself but why do we still run after it knowing that we are going to
hurt?, is the pain and heart ache is that just as addictive as the
feeling of being in love. I can safely say I never been in love; is that out of
choice well maybe or I might just be fooling myself by saying I don’t want it.
There have been boys who came after me but with my luck it never worked out. Do
you ever feel like something was just so close to you that you could almost
touch it but in a second it disappears and leaves you thinking what the heck
did just happen? Well that’s my feeling all the time.
Some
might say I have too much of a high standard but I don’t think I do it’s just
hard for me to be 100% interested in someone and trust me when I say I know I’m
not a beauty queen or have it all going (well I’m not that bad looking either )
but I know it’s better to say no to someone than to say yes and play with their
feelings and it’s not like I haven’t been turned down, maybe not directly but
if someone seems interested in you then says we should just be friends well
that’s a way of rejection right. Have you ever been rejected? But more
importantly have you been in love? Right now my love life is non-existent
and as much as I hate to admit it I think it’s probably for the best because I
still need to learn to love myself and if you don’t love yourself then who
will.
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