Let me tell you a story - Being lonely in a world with million people…

Imagine a young girl who was bright and her future was almost planned out and with everyone thinking she’ll achieve greatness. She wasn’t from the richest of family infact her biggest worry was not having a dad not because  she wanted a dad but she hated the feeling of being treated in a different way all because she didn’t have a dad because to her there was only one person she needed in life and that was her grandmother , to her she was the mother who was strict if she didn’t work hard enough but she was also the one told me that I could achieve greatness and she believed in her and she understood all her feelings and was the only person who was on the same page as her. You see growing up her mother was only seen as her sister because she married too young and was still growing up. For some reason she was always too naïve and trusted everyone so when the girl was growing up she soon realized it was her duty to look after her mother because of what her dad did to her in her eyes all men were creatures that you had to avoid and she saw her mum as a easy victim and she had to look after her so instead of being a child she had to grow up too quickly to her falling in love was the worst thing you could do. She was always pushed to work hard by her grandmother and her mother supported her and took her to every tuition class but there was always a gap between her mum and her and it seemed her mother never realized it. When she looks back now she was given love and affection without having to ask for it but now she doesn’t have anyone around that she could ask for.

 Then this devil of a man came into her world one day when she got back from school she saw the ugliest cycle she has ever seen on the poach and she had a gut feeling that whoever was in the house right now is a bad person and she knew something is going to change and few days later he would become her step farther and the world around her started to crumble. He was never sweet or generous like anyone from her family but he was always putting money to the front and even from the start he made her feel unwanted. On the first day they stayed at a house with what was her new family and the first he did was make her sleep in a closed tent while her mum and he slept outside , if you ever known the feeling of being suffocated that how it felt like but did she realize that was just a taster for the rest of her life and she suffers from claustrophobia and cant even sleep in  room.

He was from another country and they had to move away from the one person she loved most in the world and from a small family she wished so long she wouldn’t have to she had the feelings in her gut this would be the end of her happiness, but she wanted her mum to be happy since she married at 19 and divorced by 23 she wanted a man to look after her and she wanted her to be happy and didn’t want  to hold her back since all her life she was told it the was the girls fault that her father had left since according to her birth sign she’s not meant to have a father. She grew up knowing she was the reason for her mums sadness and this was the only chance. As soon as they arrived to his country there was never a day without drama and he picked on her for every little thing. She wanted help for her to be the smart girl that she was used to but in a another environment she had to teach herself to learn English and no one ever believed in her and the only person who always did she left behind and as days, weeks moths years passed her grandmother grew older and she couldn’t burden her with the pain so she pretended everything was okay and that they were happy but there wasn’t a day where he picked on her he would say anything and always told her she was worthless and when she grows up and married someone he would use her for sex and leave her because she wasn’t worth anything,, she wasn’t used to being treated like this then her mum became pregnant and they couldn’t get away from him then came a time where he would be nice to her if she took his side and stood against mum and so she did she thought if she made him happy then they won’t end up divorcing her mum and could be happy. Then one night as she laid between her mum and him he put his penis in her hand and made her hold it and as her mum left to the toilet he would put his fingers inside her panties and finger her with his rough fat fingers; you see she has been sexually abused in the past before by cousin and she never told anyone because at that age she thought it was her fault he was doing this and she was to blame and she felt dirty and thought maybe she’s one of those whore that liked these kind of feelings and didn’t want to tell anyone and be looked at by people as the victim . in her eyes they were only doing this because she didn’t have a father figure in her life to stand up for her so she was an easy victim . this guy who sexually abused her was supposed to be the father that she yearned for but instead she got him. She never focused on studies and wasted time on things that would make her happy temporarily so she can forget the pain and ended up getting just average grades in school and she couldn’t get into the course in college that she wanted to, ever since she was younger she wanted to be a doctor and so she wasted two years not doing well in college and ended up not going into university.

You see as soon as she turned 18 he told her she had to leave the house , yeah he look her away from everything she had then abandoned her. For years he been telling her he would physically kick her out. The last ever conversation she had with him was when he told her he would grab her by the hair on to the street and beat her with a brick, do  you know how 18 year old girls heart would be if someone who was supposed to look after her said that. So she decided to get help from the college she went to and get help and moved into a housing projects for homeless youths then she started into another college hoping to do well and change her life around. But do you know how hard it is to live by yourself and cook, look after yourself at that age with no help and on top of all this she had to pretend to her grandma she was still at home happy and to her mother she had t portray an independent girl who got out and was now happy do you know how much it breaks your heart? Do you have any idea at all? Now she started to loose herself and turned into something she despised and now she wishes her mum would understand when shes quite with a blank look on her face rather than say she was being moody. She wished for her mum to understand her the way grandma did but she wasn’t grandma and it seems like she still hasn’t finished growing up and her daughter is almost giving up on life.  The girl hopes to find something that would make her happy even if its temporary while she recover her lost life but it seems like god not on her side and I hope she waits a little bit longer and doesn’t give up.

What would you want this girl to do now?  Should she just not see her mum and cope on her own ?